TL;DR
Get health and wellness essentials delivered free with Prime
- Fast, free delivery on millions of items
- Prime Video, Amazon Music and more included
- Member-only deals all year
In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, artist and retired professor Robert G. Fishman recounts his mother’s dementia and the paintings it inspired. He says the work helped him stop trying to make her remember and pay attention to the relationship and recognition that remain.
Artist and retired professor Robert G. Fishman says a series of paintings inspired by his mother’s dementia helped him change how he relates to her, shifting from correcting her to meeting her in her present experience. In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on October 7, 2026, Fishman describes the family’s move to memory care and his effort to recognize the connection that remains as her memories fade.
Fishman writes that he spoke with his mother every day after she was widowed in 1999. She lived alone in Florida and moved into independent living at about 91. A few years later, he noticed changes he initially attributed to aging. By age 94, she was having difficulty using her phones. During a visit in late 2023, he found her apartment in poor condition, with an empty refrigerator and a strong smell of cat urine. He says she did not notice the odor and insisted that everything was fine.
A neurologist diagnosed his mother with early-stage dementia, according to Fishman, but she rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing. He writes that their daily phone conversations had made it harder for him to see the extent of the changes. After she refused local assisted living, the family persuaded her to move closer to them in Maryland. She later moved into a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home.
During this period, Fishman began painting landscapes and gradually removing details from each version. He called the work “Deconstructed Landscapes” and later developed four paintings into a series he titled “The Art of Forgetting.” He says the process helped him understand memory loss and reconsider how he treated his mother. He now says he tries not to correct her, but to enter her world during visits.
A Caregiver’s Shift in Perspective
Fishman’s account puts a family caregiver’s emotional response alongside the practical changes prompted by dementia. He describes frustration, anger, grief and guilt, including moments when he yelled or wished the situation would end. Those details make clear that his change in approach did not come simply from learning about a diagnosis: he says he had to confront his own expectation that he could make his mother remember.
The essay also shows how the family’s response developed over time, from noticing changes and arranging a move closer to home to placing his mother in memory care. Fishman does not present his experience as a clinical account or a guide for other families. Rather, he describes how art helped him make sense of loss and preserve attention to connection, emotion and recognition that he says are still present.
art supplies for painting landscapes
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
From Daily Calls to Memory Care
Fishman says his mother had feared developing Alzheimer’s because her own mother was diagnosed at 73 and died seven years later. When his mother was still doing well at 93, he believed she had avoided the same fate. In retrospect, he writes, he had missed signs of decline, in part because his mother could sound like herself on the phone.
His essay traces a personal timeline rather than setting out a broader medical account: his mother moved into independent living at around 91, changes became more apparent over the following years, and he visited her in Florida in late 2023. The neurologist’s assessment was followed by his mother’s refusal of further testing. The account then moves to her relocation to Maryland and, eventually, a nearby memory care unit. Fishman identifies himself as a retired college professor and nonprofit executive, as well as an artist and author of the children’s book “Bubby’s Still Here.”
““Over my dead body.””
— Robert G. Fishman, recounting his mother’s response to assisted living
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
Limits of the Personal Account
Being Patient’s essay is Fishman’s personal account, not an independent medical report. It does not provide the date of his mother’s formal diagnosis, the results of any cognitive testing, or details about her current abilities and care plan. Fishman says she declined further testing, but the essay does not clarify whether she later received additional evaluation.
The account also does not say whether the paintings or his approach would have similar effects for other people living with dementia or their families. His descriptions of what remains in their relationship are his observations, not a clinical assessment of his mother’s condition.
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
Visits Continue in Memory Care
Fishman’s essay describes his mother as living in a memory care unit near the family and focuses on how he approaches visits now. It does not announce a new care milestone or say that further medical testing is planned. The next developments in her care, including any changes to her condition or living arrangements, are not specified in the published account.
Fishman’s paintings and “Bubby’s Still Here” are part of how he has shared his experience publicly. The essay leaves the emphasis on an ongoing family relationship: he says he visits his mother and tries to meet her where she is rather than asking her to return to the past.
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
Key Questions
What is the news in Fishman’s essay?
Being Patient published Fishman’s first-person account on October 7, 2026. He describes how his mother’s dementia inspired a painting series and changed how he approaches visits with her.
What did Fishman say prompted the paintings?
He began removing details from successive landscape paintings as his mother’s memory changed. He later understood the work as a way to represent memory loss and called four paintings “The Art of Forgetting.”
What happened after a neurologist assessed his mother?
Fishman says the neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia, but his mother rejected the diagnosis and declined further testing. The family later moved her from Florida to Maryland, and she eventually entered a memory care unit near their home.
What does Fishman say he does differently now?
He says he no longer tries to correct his mother or make her remember. Instead, he tries to enter her world during visits and focus on the connection he feels remains.
Source: rss
Halloween Picks
halloween
As an affiliate, we earn on qualifying purchases.
